A while ago, I wrote somewhat belatedly about Snoop's investment in Cuca Fresca in the context of the related video ad. In the days and weeks since the original announcement, I had tried to track down something--anything--that wasn't already covered. No one in-or-around the Doggplex would give me much more than what was already out there. (Not that they'd bother with a tiny site like this one, but you miss all the shots you don't take, I figure.) Cuca Fresca's PR firm sent me the press release, dutifully enough, and pretty much told me that it was all I was going to get.
So, in an attempt to extract some amount of lulz from this effort, I took the press release and fed it through Gizoogle.Net. The site takes any URL or text you feed into it and translates it into the kind of gangsta argot that Snoop was largely responsible for introducing to suburban Caucasian youths in the 1990s.
The results (after the jump) are decidedly NSFW, but still fun.
Brazilian Spirit Cuca Fresca Partners wit Entertainment Icon, Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle
Premium Artisanal Cachaça Launches Nationizzle Campaign wit Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle To Define What it Means ta "Drink Different"
Cuca Fresca, tha premium artisanal Brazilian cachaça, is buckwild ta announce they partnershizzle wit entertainment icon Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle, up in which dat schmoooove muthafucka has become a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shareholda n' shit. "Cuca Fresca" be a cold-ass lil common Brazilian expression dat means ta "have a cold-ass lil chill vibe" n' wit Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle bein tha epitome of cool, tha pairin between both tha brand n' gangbangin muthafucka was a natural fit.
Snoop first became enamored wit Brazil while filmin tha vizzle fo' his 2003 hit cold lil' woo wop "Beautiful," wit Pharrell Williams. While blastin up in Rio de Janeiro, Snoop felt a immediate connection ta tha playas n' gamestyle of Brazil, fallin up in ludd wit they signature cocktail, tha Caipirinha. Throughout tha "Beautiful" vizzle, Snoop is shown trippin' off Brazil’s ubiquitous cocktail.
Snoop’s ludd of Brazil, combined wit his keen bidnizz sensibilitizzle n' mobilitizzle ta identify future trends, caused his ass ta take notice when da thug was introduced ta Cuca Fresca Cachaça. Previously lumped under rum despite its different thang n' provenance, Cachaça was designated as its own spirits category up in 2013 n' is poised fo' explosive growth up in tha lead up ta tha 2016 Olympics up in Brazil. With Snoop’s widespread appeal n' trendsettin ability, dat schmoooove muthafucka has amassed a unrivaled internationistic hustla base n' has one of tha phattest hood media followings ghettowide. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snoop’s grand influence will continue ta spread tha word bout tha Cuca Fresca brand up in tha states n' beyond.
"I’m buckwild ta partner wit tha phat playas at Cuca Fresca," holla'd Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle. "I have mad ludd fo' tha Brazilian playas n' culture, n' look forward ta spreadin tha word bout cachaça n' tha def vibez of tha ghetto ta tha US.
"Snoop’s hype fo' bein on tha cuttin edge of what tha fuck is def combined wit his fuckin lil' dedicated hustla base will help create ghetto-wide brand awarenizz fo' Cuca Fresca," explains Cuca Fresca CEO, Phoenix Kelly-Rappa. "We is thrilled ta be enterin tha fuck into dis unprecedented partnershizzle n' can’t wait ta make Cuca Fresca, n' cachaça, a household name."
Bout Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle:
An entertainment icon n' wit mo' than 20 muthafuckin years up in tha bidnizz, Snoop continues ta pave tha way up in tha hip-hop industry, servin as a mentor ta nuff freshly smoked up n' established artists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Bein tha trendsetta he is, Snoop standz all up in tha forefront of ghettofab culture wit award-ballin n' multi-platinum mixtapes n' joints, critically hyped films n' televizzle shows, gamestyle shizzle, philanthropic efforts n' digital ventures, includin his YallTube original gangsta series "GGN Shit." Snoop defines entertainment history.
Bout Cuca Fresca:
Cuca Fresca is tha straight-up original gangsta n' only line of premium, artisanal cachaças. Founded up in 2006 by a cold-ass lil crew wit decadez of cachaça-makin experience, Cuca Fresca is one of tha leadin cachaça brandz up in tha ghetto n' has won nuff muthafuckin of tha industryz top honors, includin a Double Gold Medal from tha San Frankieco Ghetto Spirits Competition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Currently, Cuca Fresca is tha only cachaça wit a ready-to-drink Caipirinha cocktail on tha market.